It all started with a bike...

It all started with a bike,
And a boy who was it's owner,
With brown hair and big eyes,
And a mouth shaped like petals.

Why?
That's the only question I can possibly formulate,
It's the only one whom I seek answer,
Yet probably the only one whose answer I'll never get.

It all started with a bike,
And a girl who loved to ride them,
Whose best friend just moved to her neighborhood,
Barely a couple doors away.

It hurts, and much more on the inside of the shell,
The shell I want to wear,
The shell that protects me from pain,
But never did such a good job either.

It all started with a bike,
And the girl's twin brother,
Who kindly introduced both,
The two best friends to the boy.

I still hear it when the world is silent,
When the hearts decide to quiten,
When my ears catch its painful sound,
The sound of breaking bones, crunching strongly.

It all started with a bike,
And a playful game the girls played,
And a handsome boy who played with them,
Of stealing the boy's bike to ride it.

One day it all changed,
And I deep down feel the victim,
How could it all feel so dead to me?
Even the inside of myself.

It all started with a bike,
And a bad friend who wanted the boy to herself,
Who sent the girl through a joke,
To take a ride on the bike.

She didn't do it on purpose, I like to think,
No one is ever so mean,
And she could get what she wanted, it's true,
But, it's so impossible to believe...

It all started with a bike,
And a rock from a constuction,
That stood in the middle of a speedbump,
And was not seen by the girl.

She didn't do it on purpose, I like to think,
But maybe she just did,
After all it's not the first time,
She could get what she wanted by wishing tragedy others.

It all started with a bike,
That easily fell foward,
Making the girl fly two meters and a half,
Until her body met the street.

But now I know well,
My chance has gone away,
My body is mistreated and hurt,
And even if denied, it seeks comfort.

It all started with a bike,
That broke a girl's heart,
Her soul,
And three of her bones.

And what did you do when I was gone, ''my friend''?
Did you come to visit me?
Did you even call me?
Did you rembember I existed?

Or did I become as invisible as you were before me?
Before I taught you how to enjoy life,
How to make innocent pranks,
How to live an authentic life,
And not a shiny plastic fake mask.

As invisible as you say you are,
But know you just were,
You think it's fine, but it's not,
To step on my heart like you already did.

The answer is easy,
And even painful to say,
You didn't care a damn about me,
You just went straight to get him.

And you are such a bounder,
You even asked me for advice on how to get him,
And I was brainless enough to help you,
Now I see how it all blooms, from a far distant place.

Why are you so selfish?
Why am I so selfless?
You only care about you,
I do anything but that.

I told you so many times what I felt for him,
But you didn't even listen,
For you are so deft when it comes to hearing,
Something you don't want to hear.

Now you tell me you never knew,
When I was finally brave enough to tell you,
You just told me I never told you,
Lying is a sin, in case you didn't know.

It all started with a bike,
And the boy rides it everyday,
And the two girls ride it ocasionally,
Together just the two best friends.

Maybe it's all moving on,
And I'm the one stuck in the past,
I know I should head foward,
Yet it pains me for my story to go unheard.

Maybe you two will never read this,
Your eyes are full of the other's,
Maybe you two will never speak about it,
Your mouths are too busy doing something else.

I can not possibly say I hate her,
She is my very best friend,
I feel that somehow I am princess,
Who wants to play prince as well.

I want to be rescued,
Yet rescue everyone else first,
If a boat finds itself sinking,
I'll probably sink with it as well.

It all started with a bike,
That lead a friend and a boy to love,
Itself and a girl to a crash,
And her heart and her bones to a breaking.

I wrote this when I was really depressed, and I hope I don't give a bad portrayal of my best friend, it was just the moment of all those stacked up and held back feelings I just couldn't help it. I decided to upload it anyhow since I think it ended up looking pretty beautiful (depressing) but beautiful. I now think I'm over him, but he was never really the thing... The opportunity of falling in love was what she took away from me, and I can't help but feel jealous a bit. Maybe the ressentment was what caused it to look so angry when I was actually crying a river calm when I wrote it.

The heat of a thousand stars and the scent of a thousand carnations,

-María Gabriella Párraga